Kate Curates the Internet: April 23, 2017

Here’s my favorite stuff from the Internet this week. And I made it (mostly) all about me. You’re welcome.

Bookish Things

LitHub ranked fictional drugs of literature on 4/20, which is apparently a significant date to some people who do certain drugs. I have never understood why, but maybe I was never cool enough. (Read: I never smoked enough pot to understand, or care enough about understanding, this phenomenon.) Also, glaring omission of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking-Glass…cue Grace Slick’s haunting vocals: “One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small…”

Karen Chee wrote an amazing Daily Shouts piece for The New Yorker: “Upcoming Utopian Novels (Now That We Live in a Dystopia).” The titles/plots are based on actual dystopian novels (e.g., The Happy GamesAnimal Town, and my personal favorite, Atlas Hugged).

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DSM Superheroes: The Nasty Narcissist

The Nasty Narcissist

Denver Ulysses Grump, Jr. grew up in an opulent mansion. His mother doted on him despite her intermittent substance abuse issues, frequently telling him he was the most precious thing in her life. His father, Denver Ulysses Grump, Sr., was an absentee oil tycoon who endlessly criticized Denver, most notably when he lost a grade-school spelling bee for misspelling “patriarchy.” Grump, Sr. was found dead in his office the day Denver graduated from high school. The death was ruled a suicide, but rumors abound. Denver lives in the penthouse on the top floor of a large high-rise so it is easier for him to look down at everyone else. Most of the walls in his apartment are mirrored. The rare bit of wall-space that doesn’t feature a mirror is used for various self-portraits.

Diagnostic Inspiration: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM-5 301.81)

Gender: Male

Catchphrase: “Only I can fix it! Me! Not you, ME!”

Powers: Supreme exaggeration his own abilities, achievements, and talents. Social climbing. An unwarranted sense of entitlement. Inappropriately inflated self-image. Development of super strength and/or super verbal abuse when criticized or humiliated.

Weaknesses: Envious of others. Lack of empathy. Crippling fear of his deceased father. Places without mirrors.

Accessories: A fifty-foot portrait of himself that tells him he’s THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL. (Like the Evil Queen’s mirror in Snow White. Except it’s just giant picture of himself. That he sometimes caresses or kisses.) When he doesn’t have access to his portrait, he turns to his trusty gilded pocket mirror.

Likes: Mostly himself, but also people whom he perceives to be in positions of power.

Dislikes: Other people’s needs or feelings. Not receiving special treatment.

Romantic Interest(s): Masturbation, generally involving mirrors or images of himself.

Allies: The Nasty Narcissist has no allies, but will tolerate Substance Abuse Sally when he has use for her.

Rivals: Basically everyone. Unless they’re kissing his ass. But they go back to being rivals once he’s gotten everything he perceives he needs from them.

Romantic Résumé

Objective

Vaguely insecure but charmingly self-deprecating artsy-type seeks creatively-inclined adult male (human), preferably steadily employed, in the New York City area for something in between a one-night-stand/friends-with-benefits situation and a full-blown, instant relationship. (This is possibly called “dating,” a retro trend that apparently died out around 2008.) Alcoholics, narcissists, misogynists, mansplainers, doctors, codependents, neo-Nazis, or any combination of the aforementioned need not apply.

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